Wooooo

I've got over wallowing in my own misery and now have things to keep my mind off stuff. Seeing Frenchie for the first time in a week-IT'S BEEN SO LONG.
He'll probably have lost his French accent and grown a large amount of facial hair, the facial hair wouldn't bother me, but if he lost his accent a lot of his sex appeal would be gone.
I'm sorry. It makes him really really sexy.
Mmmmm. Ahh I missed it.

But I got bored yesterday and decided to be creative-I've spent the past 2 afternoons doing arty things in an old book. In the book I found pictures I did when I was about 7.
I WAS SO SHITE. I'm hoping I'm better then that now.
But I've literally used up most of the kitchen foil and my bedroom has so much glitter floating round, breathing would cause your lungs to jam up. Imagine the look on the doctor's face when he's doing an autopsy and can only see sparkly things when he opens up your lungs.
But this book is the most relaxinbg thing ever
I JUST COLLAGE AND PAINT AND DRAW AND COLOUR AND GLUE. It's like therapy.
It stops all the depressing thoughts enter my mind and instead of feeling like this:




I FEEL LIKE THIS:

I'm sure if anybody broke into my house and saw the book they'd think I took a shitload of LSD. Its the most colourful happy thing you will ever see. AHHH UNICORNS ARE SO GOOD.


I still can't walk properly because of my fucked up foot so maybe tonight we'll have to go to a pub or something which would be nice for a change. I swear to God we've been to every corner of London (Minus Peckham and stuff cos thats a shithole-DON'T SHOOT ME)

I had a dream last night where my mouth was filled with glitter and couldn't come off. Maybe I have been taking LSD. YU'LL NEVA KNO

This week

I really want to be able to go a day without wanting to cry. Everything is niggling at me and I'm just waiting for it all to boil over and explode. I'm getting really confused between anger and sadness-My mood changes are getting to the point where I look at an apple and don't know whether I want to laugh at it, cry over it or actually eat it.

HASHDJSAHDJASDOA MISERYYYYYY

I'M TOO EMO

No surprises there

Obessing over yourself must get to the point where you realise everyone's bored of it?
Seriously, there must be a realisation sometime?

The fact some people haven't got the ability to actually listen to other people's problems instead of going on about theirs or constantly talking about themself 24-7 pisses me off sooo much.
Rant over.









SAW CATIO TODAY
I MISS HER TOO MUCH
Today was just soo nice
:]

Ouch

Prom was amazing. I am actually going to miss our year when I bugger off to Twyford after the holidays. Even though Chiswick was a bit of a shit school it's sad leaving everyone.

The party afterwards was so crap, we got in free which was great though. I did actually have fun with Sandro, Lorna and other people there, its just the party was really terrible.
I felt crap last night though after having some girl all over someone else. It shouldn't have upset me at all but it did-Especially after the weird behavior from him. I dont know why, but I just felt like a bit of an idiot. Plus I really miss Frenchie as he fucked off to Ireland for the weekend without a proper goodbye. He bailed on me the night before he left to play football.

I don't exactly know whats happening, but I'm seeing him less and less. I used to see him three times a week minumum, but now its only about once or twice a week so I get an odd feeling that we're slightly drifiting apart which I don't like. I'm probably being all paranoid but I just feel hurt that he went for the weekend without actually saying a proper goodbye. I'm his girlfriend for fucks sake. He's a grown man and should be capable of saying a simple goodbye or "I miss you".
I just really want him to say he misses me more than anything, I just hate the thought of him not thinking about me as much as I think about him.
What I really want the most right now is a hug from him.
I think it's reached that turning point in the relationship like it always does for me, when I start to like him more than he likes me, which is totally the opposite of when I first started seeing him. I just wonder what it is I do EVERY SINGLE TIME.

How fucking hard can it be for him to just tell me he misses me?

Prom tonight. I'm sitting here in a towel soaking wet as I just had a shower. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH PAIN MY FEET ARE IN. Recently I've been wearing heels more than ever before, as I like feeling like a giraffe and being able to look over people's heads more than before. But I paid for this as I now have the HUGEST blisters and cuts all over my feet. I thought I had a stone in my boots the other day and it turned out to be a fat blister, and last night I spent ages trying to get rid of it. It's gone now, but I am limping because of the raw flesh.
:/
So I have a feeling I'll be digging out the padded plasters for tonight and basically creating a sock out of them so I can actually walk.

Pretty pleased with myself though, as last night I did about 300 sit-ups so now my dress fits me better. I should really do that every night but I'm too lazy. All-liquids diet for today as well. God if it's like this for a gay little prom I don't want to imagine what it's like for the Oscars. Errrrrrr goddd.

But after that I have to manage to get everyone from Richmond to London Bridge tube station which I'm sure will be a mission in itself, but I WILL DO IT.
Watch how I just fall asleep by the time I get there or something as I'm knackered. Been to school 2 days running-The motivation thing went okay as we got free food and the leavers assembly was a bit crap as our form got totally boyed and the selection of photos was a bit crap. It scares me though how they used photos of us from our Facebooks/Myspaces. Jessie and I were in the "biggest posers" category which confused me.
I hope people realised the photo was a pisstake.

The sad thing is people in out school take photos like this seriously. It distresses me and makes me feel like I'm going to cringe myself to death (Is that possible? Must be.)
People from our school are so gay.

But then again yesterday I found out that Robert was right about my art marks-We got into the art gallery with all our work and I got 157/160 marks! I am sooo shocked by that. I know I spent countless hours working on my art book to the point where I contemplated suicide, but I didn't think my work was at the right standard of quality to get an A*! But that has lifted my mood so much. If they change it I think I will END my art teacher.

I want to kill a lot of things, here's a list of things I really want to kill.:

• This girl Frankie-Her voice/face makes most people heave.
• Ugg boots.
• Postmen. I was under house arrest waiting for a package all day and it came at 5pm when it was meant to be delivered at 9am
• My cold. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO BREATHE THROUGH MY NOSE WHEN I SLEEP!
• My strapless bra. I hate plain bras and this is the epitome of plain, plus it feels wrong.
• My blisters.
• My face. It has become horrendously spotty because of sudden explosion of hormones. It makes me feel shamed to be a woman.
• My upper arms. FLIBFLABFLOB.
• My empty wallet. I apologise Pieter-I will pay you back the £20 when I have the cash. DON'T TELL MUM.

Anyways I am off to slowly start getting ready-ish and watching terrible TV in my room. I only have 4 channels up there so I'm very limited seeing as it's a Friday morning. I DONT EVEN HAVE CHANNEL 5. But I'm not going to complain as I'm a pretty lucky person.
Next time I blog I'll do a rating on how orange everyone was at prom. Most girls in our school like achieving the tango man look by applying liberal amounts of fake tan.

hi yaz, you got hacked.

i love you
you make me smile when you bully me and make rude jokes about me being cancer.
one day my brain will allow me to think of a clever enough comeback


you and lia will one day take over the world.
and my life will fail spectactularly.



regards,
your mini friend with tiny feet who loves your mum xoxo

Ahhhh noooo

School tomorrow to motivate little kids that they have to be smart and not act dumb to be cool. I DID THIS AND BECAME MORE ACCEPTED SOCIALLY. Then again I lost weight and grew hair.
I regret this now as I realise the opinion that most of the people at my school have of me is not important as half of them can't count to ten or travel any further than Hounslow without being stabbed for being so retarded.
Because I dumbed myself down and stopped trying in school I have become rather thick in caparison to what I used to be. SUPA BOZZZAAA. Well, not really, I just got good marks but in my school that automatically means you study all day and enjoy World Of Warcraft.

I should tell the year 9's that being smart doesn't mean you're not cool.
BEIN' SMART MAKEZ U 2 KOOL 4SKOOL.
Then draw this in graff to make help them understand what it means.

I am not looking forward to this. I'll just sit there and think about seeing my Frenchie tomorrow whilst I have pre-pubescent children giving me evils to the point where I want to kill myself. PLUS I have to wake up early.
WHY DID I SIGN UP TO THIS?
WHYYYYYY???


I hopefully get to see Lia and Sophie though. The joy of this then gets ruined when the boyfriend buggers off to Dublin. I hope the IRA doesn't shoot him for being French or anything. Or he gets too mashed on Guiness when he visits the factory and ends up falling in a lake or something. I don't know-I just don't want him to die as I wouldn't know if he was actually dead. I doubt his friends would phone me to tell him, and I would resent him for not answering my calls or texts.
I WUD BE H8IN ON A DEAD MAN
dats not kool.