There are

Several things I have learnt in life:

• Never make freinds with people who enjoy crocs and have a slight obsession with their mother.
• If you have a TV in your room DO NOT WATCH IT. You will end up watching crap that you would never usually watch. Night watch and Bingo Night Live actually prevent me from going to sleep at a normal time. I don't know why.
• Don't lick ice lollies as soon as they come out of the freezer. I learnt the hard way.
• Sadly, Pete Doherty will never die. Amy Winehouse will.
• Tetris ruins lives.
  
• Averything tastes good with lemon juice or ketchup.
• I should give up making sarcastic jokes. Nobody gets my sarcasm. (Therefore I come across as a retard)
• Sometimes music plays different instrumental bits through the different headphones-It does' nt mean you're going deaf.
• The "Compare People" facebook application has a "OK to notify friends" box at the bottom. I MUST UNTICK THIS IN FUTURE. I don't want people to know that I would rather sleep with them than their best friend.
  
• Deciding to take your clothes off in a public place after drinking too much is not sexy. Even if you have the body of a god, screaming that you want some randomers baby with sick round your mouth is not a good look.
  
• That if a T-Rex dinosaur fell over(in prehistoric times onvz, not now), it would not be able to get up because of its short arms and it would die.
• Most people do not enjoy having their shoulder bitten.
• If Bob Geldof produced any more children somebody I would petition to have him castrated. Peaches Geldof is bad enough already.
  
• Screechy noises make my teeth hurt.
• The only people who ever seem to talk to me on MSN are the type that say, "wubu2" and then when I tell them they reply with "lol". Even if I told them my mother had died they would probably still reply with "lol"
  
• Snoop Dogg is a true historic figure.

AHAHAHAHHAHA LLAMA

AT SCHOOL LOL.

I LOST THE GAME.

I blame the guy in front of me.

Blah

Oh nononononono
Bad idea
:/

I really miss Jake

I remember when Jake once called me a fat bitch so I told him I had anorexia from when I was 5 years old up until I was 12. He then thought I was going to cry and apologised to me about a million times and offered to clean my shoes for me. I cannot believe he actually believed me.
I'm actually going to miss Jake and his ADHD/gullibility/general retardation.

:]

LOL SCHOOL.

Officially at Twyford now.
(I had to block out my face on the card as my nostrils were larger than usual and I appear to have an adams apple in it)
But I am generally quite happy about going to school now, my form is good and for once I actually WANT to do art. However my dreams of dermatology were HORRIBLY CRUSHED when I was 5 marks off a B in science meaning I couldn't do Biology and Chemistry. Now I have to find another career path :/
G-G-G-AYYYY
But for community service I might be helping year 11 year olds wrap eggs in bubble wrap so they don't break when you throw them out the window. Thats what the lady told me-I'm hoping she didn't lie to me and instead I have to read to them or something. But they are soo much cuter than Chiswick kiddies. More Christian and less likely to try and mug you.
Most of them like God and stuff which is good.

I need to lose all the holiday weight I put on, but hopefully that should be easy as it's winter now. SO I IZ GONNA STAY AWAI FROM DA PIEZ. Not that I actually give much for pie anyway.
I've also been listening to a lot of N-SYNC recently. I actually think it's bringing out the homosexual man trapped inside of me.



ONE DAY I WILL POST AN INTERESTING BLOG I PROMISE.
Maybe I'll start a sex blog and write about all the crazy sexual adventures I'm having.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
My life is too dry right now.
¬_¬


Fail.

Alsooo

Either my house has it's heating on full blast 24/7, or I've hit menopause early.

Watch how my internal system is slowly dying and instead of visiting a doctor I blog about it. I'm not entirely sure, but personally I blame Michael Moore.

:/

Mum's finally back from hospital which is great.
But my Dad didn't feel the need to tell me that her blood pressure was so bad the first day in hospital he thought she could have died.
Thanks for telling me three days later, Dad.

But at least she's feeling much better now and doesn't have to be cooped up in some shitty hospital-Then again she has to be operated on in six weeks. This clashes with my brothers German exchange partner coming (who has a perchant for staring down your top) and going to France with Dutch relatives.
Perosnally I'd like to stay at home away from all the French, Dutch and German people, and rather enjoy my Birthday in a non-cultural English way. (If you count all the nationalities mentioned above as "cultural")


Oh, I also want a Chinese baby.
This blog has been rather pointless. Whatever writing inspiration I had a few hours ago has probably been sapped by watching too much South Park and consuming liberal amounts of chocolate. (My excuse is that my body has insufficient iron levels and chocolate gives me the vitamins I need.)
Going to buy stationary with Rober tomorrow-I am strangely exited about this. I wonder if this makes me a sad person. Will all my friends eventually leave me as I seem more interested in flashing biros than going out? Will rubbers become the new cocaine?
Actually, apparently you can get a high off sniffing rubbers after you just rubbed them on paper. But I think the people that do that are probably sadder than me.
Then college on Wednesday. YAY.
(That was not sarcasm. I am actually exited to be educated again-The summer has turned my brains to mush, as you can tell from this blog.)


Plus I like someone. I shouldn't say someone as that could indicate I'm bisexual or something which I'm not. I like men-Prefeably tall with large noses. I think this is some caveman instinct of actually having someone able to inhale larger animals in their nostrils than I already can. For food or whatever.
Shame this guy doesn't have a large nose-However I'm sure a few rohypnol tablets and a pair of tongs can do the trick.



I AM NOT A SCARY PERSON I PROMISE.