Birthday today.
:D
:D
Tuesday, 7 October 2008
Mmmm-mmm
GOT BORED TODAY IN CLASS AND WAS THINKING @M@Z1NGLY Z@NY H1PST@ THOUGHTZ. Such as if my plimsolls were dirty enough and if I looked cooler smoking in the dark than in daylight. Then I thought of something Hipster Runoff has yet to do:
ALT KNEECAPZ. Alt breasts are olddddddddddddddd.
D@ TOP FIVE:
5.
Thought of more than two would give a lot of knee fetishists a fat hard-on. This is not only 3 but the dirty thought of not seeing the other 3 kneecaps iz just 22222 much 4 people.4.
Mmmm. Which woman wouldn't want a piece of these stunnaz.
3.
To be the altest, most alt alternative all you need is a biro. Watch how you'll start seeing painted kneecaps all over thecobrasnake.com by the end of the week. CORY KENNEDY IS ON IT. TRUST.2.
Who downt wike a bit owf the owld Jonathan Woss on a Fwiday night? These altewnative kneecaps cewtainly do.1.
This shouldn't even need a reason explaining why it is most undoubtedly the most alternative kneecap ever. You can cover it in gold sequins and go to Styleslut parties parading it around in a provocative manner-This'll ensure anything with a pulse will want to fuck you. You can take bucketloads of ketamine and still be able to stand up with one leg. Unlimited party tricks. Plus you could do the sickest robot dance mankind has EVA SEEN!The hills are alive with the sound of
BASSHUNTER.
No words can explain my hate for him and his euro-techno crap.
I hate that type of music as I just think of a group of "lads" drinking WKD and going "on da pull" to meet "fit birds". When I finally push that image out of my head, I am reminded of how Dutch I am. The bloke from basshunter looks so Dutch it hurts, and everyone in Holland ACTUALLY BUMS HIM. Even though he's Swedish. I just cringe at his general existance and anyone who likes him. (The same goes for Cascada, however I don't feel like bludgeoning them on the head with a brick so much in comparison to basshunter fans)
Plus I think all men who believe a sleeveless vest with a waistcoat is a good look, is just a prick.
Today my head has been fucked up. I woke up with La Cucaracha in my head, this then got replaced by basshunter.
I blame this sudden burst of Basshunter hate on remembering my cousin singing "Boten Anna" to me oh holiday about 2 years ago.
Sunday, 5 October 2008
Blergh
I have no idea what I want to do in the future cos I sucked at anything science related, whilst my little 14 year-old brother EXCELS IN EVERYTHING. He's crap at English and art, the two things I'm good at but for some reason that doesn't especially matter in my family. The boy wonder can do no wrong with his future plans to become a mathematical physicist, whilst I'm stuck deciding what to eat for lunch.
He has it so easy; he knows what he wants to do, understands most education systems as I've been through it already and doesn't constantly get given grief over HIS interests.
All I hear from my family is, "Oh you're always out and never spend enough time with us" and "God Yasmin, shopping isn't THE most IMPORTANT thing in the world-You'll discover that there's more to life than that!"
Well, in all honesty, can't they ever give my brother a bollocking about his excessive use on the XBox and the fact he NEVER LEAVES THE HOUSE??? He spends most of, actually no, ALL OF his time indoors playing Halo and watching videos on youtube of equally sad exbox gamers killing n00bs or whatever it is they do. Why can't my parents acknowledge that I am different from them and don't enjoy cycling or tennis, and would rather read Elle than the New Scientist? I'm sick of being looked at like an idot when I discuss politics and then be told that they already knew that aaaages before me.
I can't win with them and it's really frustrating. Being constantly wound up by your mother to think that you're stupid is a horrible feeling, especially when I know that I do have brains in my head, however I don't walk round like some arrogant prick parading my knowledge around and making other people feel inferior.
I prefer to make terrible, dumb jokes which make people laugh, instead of constantly spweing out intelligence. It's not just my brother I'm talking about-It's also certain others who's head's have grown to such epic proportions, it just makes me cringe.
When people have brains, I prefer for them to flaunt their intelligence using witty humour rather than just going on about how well they do. It doesn't make you look interesting or clever. It just makes you look like a prat.
Complaint over. I'm off to go lick some walls and listen to the sound of elevator music in my empty head.
He has it so easy; he knows what he wants to do, understands most education systems as I've been through it already and doesn't constantly get given grief over HIS interests.
All I hear from my family is, "Oh you're always out and never spend enough time with us" and "God Yasmin, shopping isn't THE most IMPORTANT thing in the world-You'll discover that there's more to life than that!"
Well, in all honesty, can't they ever give my brother a bollocking about his excessive use on the XBox and the fact he NEVER LEAVES THE HOUSE??? He spends most of, actually no, ALL OF his time indoors playing Halo and watching videos on youtube of equally sad exbox gamers killing n00bs or whatever it is they do. Why can't my parents acknowledge that I am different from them and don't enjoy cycling or tennis, and would rather read Elle than the New Scientist? I'm sick of being looked at like an idot when I discuss politics and then be told that they already knew that aaaages before me.
I can't win with them and it's really frustrating. Being constantly wound up by your mother to think that you're stupid is a horrible feeling, especially when I know that I do have brains in my head, however I don't walk round like some arrogant prick parading my knowledge around and making other people feel inferior.
I prefer to make terrible, dumb jokes which make people laugh, instead of constantly spweing out intelligence. It's not just my brother I'm talking about-It's also certain others who's head's have grown to such epic proportions, it just makes me cringe.
When people have brains, I prefer for them to flaunt their intelligence using witty humour rather than just going on about how well they do. It doesn't make you look interesting or clever. It just makes you look like a prat.
Complaint over. I'm off to go lick some walls and listen to the sound of elevator music in my empty head.
Saturday, 4 October 2008
BOHREDOHM
Had an interesting Friday night. Now I am at home on a Saturday with my little brother and his German exchange partner who drives me MADDD. I can't walk round the house without him staring and creeping the fuck out of me. Plus he keeps eating all the cornettos which just crosses the line.
But in the past few days I have realised that at the nice, good-looking men are either gay or have girlfriends. I'm not too sure about then being gay anymore, as in some pub on Friday Jessmondo and I ended up talking to this man who was so good looking he should have been shot to stop making other men look hideous. Possible the campest bloke ever, with the campest clothing, holding his fag in the camoest way. Then later we saw him with his girlfriend. HWUDHQSWHAT??/
Then some other person has a girlfriend but keeps doing strange things to indicate he likes me which I don't understand. I see him practically everyday though so it'll probably become more clear eventually.
My brother and Vincent (ze Deutscher) are currently watching 300. This reminds me of seeing Frenchman's flatmates at 11 in the morningdoing shots in their underwear and watching 300.
It's so true that first impressions stick. In my mind they will always be in neon y-fronts screaming stuff about Sparta.
But in the past few days I have realised that at the nice, good-looking men are either gay or have girlfriends. I'm not too sure about then being gay anymore, as in some pub on Friday Jessmondo and I ended up talking to this man who was so good looking he should have been shot to stop making other men look hideous. Possible the campest bloke ever, with the campest clothing, holding his fag in the camoest way. Then later we saw him with his girlfriend. HWUDHQSWHAT??/
Then some other person has a girlfriend but keeps doing strange things to indicate he likes me which I don't understand. I see him practically everyday though so it'll probably become more clear eventually.
My brother and Vincent (ze Deutscher) are currently watching 300. This reminds me of seeing Frenchman's flatmates at 11 in the morningdoing shots in their underwear and watching 300.
It's so true that first impressions stick. In my mind they will always be in neon y-fronts screaming stuff about Sparta.
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
THIS IS AN ACTUAL JOKE
Last night I had a dream (Martin LJ $tyl3) where I hit my head really hard into a block of ice and it HUUURTTTT.
Then this morning I woke up covered in water because the glass next to my bed had fallen over.
Just now I looked in the mirror and saw this fat purple bruise on the top of my head. I AM REALLY BAFFLED. I either hit myhead on the bedside table somehow or there was actually some sort of magical iceberg in my room smacking into my head whilst I was sleeping.
I told my brother about it and then he told me he had a dream about Aboriginal people transforming into a dildo. I think he wins in the weird dream stakes.
WATCH HOW MY HOUSE IS CURSED.
On the subject of phallic objects, I have to bring a fruit in tomorrow and I'm probably going to bring a banana. ZZZZZZ dull.
Or I might leave the house arlier and buy a pineapple at Morrisons to SPICE THINGS UP.
Then this morning I woke up covered in water because the glass next to my bed had fallen over.
Just now I looked in the mirror and saw this fat purple bruise on the top of my head. I AM REALLY BAFFLED. I either hit myhead on the bedside table somehow or there was actually some sort of magical iceberg in my room smacking into my head whilst I was sleeping.
I told my brother about it and then he told me he had a dream about Aboriginal people transforming into a dildo. I think he wins in the weird dream stakes.
WATCH HOW MY HOUSE IS CURSED.
On the subject of phallic objects, I have to bring a fruit in tomorrow and I'm probably going to bring a banana. ZZZZZZ dull.
Or I might leave the house arlier and buy a pineapple at Morrisons to SPICE THINGS UP.
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