I have decided

If I do ever get a tattoo-I'm getting something like this:

Too much stresss

I actually think I'm losing it. I'm sure in a weeks time I'll be walking round Acton licking walls and muttering to myself or something, I am just so stressed all the time its ridiculous.
I have spent the last weekend having a really good time, but had too much to do with too little sleep. Friday night I went to this party at Rosie's where I helped looked after a rather fucked Lorna, thanks for helping her home with me josh*cough*.
Then woke up at 7 to go home so I could treck all the way to Elephant and Castle for an interview regarding my passport. They asked me what hospital my parents were born in and how old my GP is. I already find it hard enough remembering what I did 5 minutes before let alone those things.
Then I went to Oxford Street as I had to order from Selfridges and decided to go shopping. I got back home at 4 then had to help paint the bathroom.
Ella turns up at 7 and we get ready to go out. Leave at 9.15 and go to Foreign. Have goodtimes until about 2. Go buy a big box of greasy chips each for £1.70 and end up talking to some random blokes from Cyprus and end up searching for a bar with them. As it was 3am at this point, all the bars were either closing or full, so we end up going to the bus stop and the Cyprians go back to essex in their car.
Take night bus home as we are too poor and live too far to take a cab, Ella falls asleep so I draw a rather fetching mustache, beard and thick eyebrows on her face with my green eyeliner. Eventually we get home and sleep at about 4.30am.
Next day we wake up at 11 and meet up with Sophie in Ealing. Go back to mine, and attempt at making frappachinos. Then Sophie goes home at about 5, and it turns out that Charlotte will be late picking her up. Ella pretty much leaves at 9, where I realise I have no time for my art homework.

I don't think I can keep on top of schoolwork at the moment whilst maintaining a decent social life. Plus everytime something bad happens, I remember the French one and feel about 1004898324492842934 times worse. What I really need is an actual holiday somewhere sunny. Away from family and college. Also away from depressing thoughts about him.

Bleghh I have to go and do the art homework I didn't do yesterday. Who honestly likes Georgia O'Keeffe's art anyway?
NOBODY THINKS A FLOWER THAT LOOKS LIKE A VAG IS ALL KOOKY AND ALTERNATIVE.
ITS JUST SAD AND WEIRD.
gtfo.

I do love my Mum to death sometimes

I was in German today when a year 7 or something came to the class and said she had a note for me. I thought I'd done something wrong but no:

It takes things like this to remember that we are related to each other.

BIGGEST HATE OF MINE EVER

The question "what if?"

I hate it sooooooooooooo much

FAT BEAN

While looking for furry pill box hats on ebay I realised that my HEAD IS HUUUUGE.
60 CENTIMETERS!!!!!!!!
WHO HAS A 63 CENTIMETER HEAD???
The average size for women is 55, and for men its 58!

Oh god I knew I was deformed but this is taking the piss.
Can people please tell me the size of their heads so I can compare-I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE OUT THERE!



THIS IS SO RAWLY ME IN TEN YEARS TIME.

Retardation.

I have finally accepted and come to terms that my family is weird.

I come home today and my brother tells me him and Mum went out to buy goldfish and they called them Stalin and Masterchief.
Masterchief would be an even more jokes name if I didn't know he was the main character in Halo. (I know that through my brother playing it obsessively on a daily basis)
But still, the fact my family went out and bought fish is pretty baffling. It was weird enough we already got fish named Mussolini and Clive, but I just feel so confused about it right now.
:/

Genetically, Im FUCKED.

Requiem For A Dream

Never fails to depress me/put me off recreational drugs.
They should play this to 10 year olds to stop them from becoming heroin addicts.

I'm a pill poppin animal syrup sippin nigga, im so high you could'nt reach me with a fuckin antenna

Today I've been sat at home all day with some sort of throat infection which is preventing me from eating, drinking, or just generally anything that involves swallowing. So basically I am pilled up with paracetamol, iboprufen and lozenges(who knew they had medication in them?? KRAZY!)
But whenever I have to swallow the little bastards it hurts unbelievable amounts. Plus every time I tried to sleep I couldn't because my throat is so swollen up I can barely breathe. Plus my neck is all stiff and swollen so I am forced to sleep on my back. FACE UP AS WELL.
I have always been foetal position kinda gal so this sucks for me.

I also have shitloads of psychology I have to get done for tomorrow. I don't understand the question either so that'll be a bitch to finish. Ahhh what a crap day.

What I really want right now is some morphine, sleep, and Sigmund Freud to do my work for me.

I have isssuuuessssss

Four reasons why I am a total and utter spack:

• I think like someone else. AGAIN. I need to take some sort of hormonal treatment to stop it, or go see a doctor. Probably a sliiiight rebound but I dont know. I need to stop this as it is weird and creepy. However he laughs at my terrible jokes and is really really hilarious. (In a good way. Not the type of hilarious where you laugh at their mullet. NOT THAT HE HAS A MULLET. You get the point.)
  

• Psychology lessons make me think up morbid things, involving babies. Plus it keeps me awake for most of the night wondering why pigeons are clever enough to learn how to play ping pong, but too stupid to realise that the cheese string they are picking off the floor is wrapped in plastic.

• I FIND THIS SO FUNNY I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING EVERY TIME I SEE IT:

• Today we wondered if disabled people can play rugby, so I had a look at youtube at school and I found this video. I don't know if its wrong to watch it or not-I mean, people actually PLAY THIS. I am also really worried somebody caught us looking at it
  

The blog post of a socially deprived teenager

My Grandmother just arrived from Holland meaning I basically have one of three options every day:

a. Cook me food and make me feel bad if I don't eat it. Then complain that I need to stop eating because I'm getting fatter.
b.Tell me that I'm not the same Yaz as I was 10 years ago. Err, duh?

c.I need to go to bed at a decent hour. This decent hour being 8.30. Then when I do, she checks up on me every 15 minutes to tell me to turn my lights off.

Plus she thinks I enjoy being at home all the time and makes me feel bad when I go out. Therefore extinguishing whatever remains of my already burning out social life. The fact my stalker at school causes everyone to sit a radius of 1.5 metres away from me doesn't help much either.
I swear to god if he keeps staring at me in class I will throw something at him. The worst thing is NOBODY UNDERSTANDS. Everyone just thinks he's a nice guy. Weird, but still nice.
But then again, nice guys don't stare at you constantly throughout the lessons, alienate you from the rest of civilisation, try to touch up your leg under the table, make weird jokes about "fingering you" and attempt to follow you back to where you live.
If that guy finds out where I live I am a dead woman. He'll probably strangle me in my sleep and tell me about his mother. Plus Robert is being a dick for not helping me out by getting rid of him.


Gay.
Now I have to go back to the kitchen and play card games with my gran. In Dutch. I hate speaking dutch when I'm tired, and thats exactly how I'm feeling right now.
Blah.




Also, just to piss you off...



















I LOST THE GAME
I hate you for that Alex.

Oh wow

If he's too lazy to bother then fuck it-There are more fish in the sea.
I'M A LADY WIV DEMANDZ U KNO.


Only real men make the effort.

I MISS MI NELLA AND MI ROPH

I need to see them TOGETHER again soon.
I see Sophie on her own a lot making it easier to sexually assault her.

Ooooh I'm so cleverr

I HAD THIS SUDDED INDEA IN MY HEAD
AND I AM VERY PROUD OF IT.

Basically I am buying these shoes I have in white, off ebay in black, then I am going to wear monochrome clothing, one leg with my white tights on, the other with black and then wear the contrasting colour on each foot.
I am sad for thinking this is the most original thing in the world right now-But to me it is. I have been so uninspired recently so this is like SUM MAJARR BREAKFRU!
Yea boii.


I have no idea who's coming round mine tomorrow. If its too many people will have to lie down to fill up space in my room.
OMG I NEED TO TIDY IT
GAY

There are

Several things I have learnt in life:

• Never make freinds with people who enjoy crocs and have a slight obsession with their mother.
• If you have a TV in your room DO NOT WATCH IT. You will end up watching crap that you would never usually watch. Night watch and Bingo Night Live actually prevent me from going to sleep at a normal time. I don't know why.
• Don't lick ice lollies as soon as they come out of the freezer. I learnt the hard way.
• Sadly, Pete Doherty will never die. Amy Winehouse will.
• Tetris ruins lives.
  
• Averything tastes good with lemon juice or ketchup.
• I should give up making sarcastic jokes. Nobody gets my sarcasm. (Therefore I come across as a retard)
• Sometimes music plays different instrumental bits through the different headphones-It does' nt mean you're going deaf.
• The "Compare People" facebook application has a "OK to notify friends" box at the bottom. I MUST UNTICK THIS IN FUTURE. I don't want people to know that I would rather sleep with them than their best friend.
  
• Deciding to take your clothes off in a public place after drinking too much is not sexy. Even if you have the body of a god, screaming that you want some randomers baby with sick round your mouth is not a good look.
  
• That if a T-Rex dinosaur fell over(in prehistoric times onvz, not now), it would not be able to get up because of its short arms and it would die.
• Most people do not enjoy having their shoulder bitten.
• If Bob Geldof produced any more children somebody I would petition to have him castrated. Peaches Geldof is bad enough already.
  
• Screechy noises make my teeth hurt.
• The only people who ever seem to talk to me on MSN are the type that say, "wubu2" and then when I tell them they reply with "lol". Even if I told them my mother had died they would probably still reply with "lol"
  
• Snoop Dogg is a true historic figure.

AHAHAHAHHAHA LLAMA

AT SCHOOL LOL.

I LOST THE GAME.

I blame the guy in front of me.

Blah

Oh nononononono
Bad idea
:/

I really miss Jake

I remember when Jake once called me a fat bitch so I told him I had anorexia from when I was 5 years old up until I was 12. He then thought I was going to cry and apologised to me about a million times and offered to clean my shoes for me. I cannot believe he actually believed me.
I'm actually going to miss Jake and his ADHD/gullibility/general retardation.

:]

LOL SCHOOL.

Officially at Twyford now.
(I had to block out my face on the card as my nostrils were larger than usual and I appear to have an adams apple in it)
But I am generally quite happy about going to school now, my form is good and for once I actually WANT to do art. However my dreams of dermatology were HORRIBLY CRUSHED when I was 5 marks off a B in science meaning I couldn't do Biology and Chemistry. Now I have to find another career path :/
G-G-G-AYYYY
But for community service I might be helping year 11 year olds wrap eggs in bubble wrap so they don't break when you throw them out the window. Thats what the lady told me-I'm hoping she didn't lie to me and instead I have to read to them or something. But they are soo much cuter than Chiswick kiddies. More Christian and less likely to try and mug you.
Most of them like God and stuff which is good.

I need to lose all the holiday weight I put on, but hopefully that should be easy as it's winter now. SO I IZ GONNA STAY AWAI FROM DA PIEZ. Not that I actually give much for pie anyway.
I've also been listening to a lot of N-SYNC recently. I actually think it's bringing out the homosexual man trapped inside of me.



ONE DAY I WILL POST AN INTERESTING BLOG I PROMISE.
Maybe I'll start a sex blog and write about all the crazy sexual adventures I'm having.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
My life is too dry right now.
¬_¬


Fail.

Alsooo

Either my house has it's heating on full blast 24/7, or I've hit menopause early.

Watch how my internal system is slowly dying and instead of visiting a doctor I blog about it. I'm not entirely sure, but personally I blame Michael Moore.

:/

Mum's finally back from hospital which is great.
But my Dad didn't feel the need to tell me that her blood pressure was so bad the first day in hospital he thought she could have died.
Thanks for telling me three days later, Dad.

But at least she's feeling much better now and doesn't have to be cooped up in some shitty hospital-Then again she has to be operated on in six weeks. This clashes with my brothers German exchange partner coming (who has a perchant for staring down your top) and going to France with Dutch relatives.
Perosnally I'd like to stay at home away from all the French, Dutch and German people, and rather enjoy my Birthday in a non-cultural English way. (If you count all the nationalities mentioned above as "cultural")


Oh, I also want a Chinese baby.
This blog has been rather pointless. Whatever writing inspiration I had a few hours ago has probably been sapped by watching too much South Park and consuming liberal amounts of chocolate. (My excuse is that my body has insufficient iron levels and chocolate gives me the vitamins I need.)
Going to buy stationary with Rober tomorrow-I am strangely exited about this. I wonder if this makes me a sad person. Will all my friends eventually leave me as I seem more interested in flashing biros than going out? Will rubbers become the new cocaine?
Actually, apparently you can get a high off sniffing rubbers after you just rubbed them on paper. But I think the people that do that are probably sadder than me.
Then college on Wednesday. YAY.
(That was not sarcasm. I am actually exited to be educated again-The summer has turned my brains to mush, as you can tell from this blog.)


Plus I like someone. I shouldn't say someone as that could indicate I'm bisexual or something which I'm not. I like men-Prefeably tall with large noses. I think this is some caveman instinct of actually having someone able to inhale larger animals in their nostrils than I already can. For food or whatever.
Shame this guy doesn't have a large nose-However I'm sure a few rohypnol tablets and a pair of tongs can do the trick.



I AM NOT A SCARY PERSON I PROMISE.